Friendship, like a beautiful flower, requires love and care to blossom. However, in our daily struggles, staying connected and overcoming FOMO can be challenging. Do you need to tend to your friendships daily? Absolutely not. Yet, care and love remain steadfast. Just as some plants don’t need water every single day, true friendships endure with occasional nurturing.
Girlhood is a mindf**k of complexities. Personally, I've cycled through friends like changing underwear, and I've often struggled to find fault when those friendships faded. Looking back, I try to understand, but sometimes it's about pushing forward and focusing on my own growth.
This new vibe of girlhood? It's revitalizing me. I feel renewed, like I'm back in my element, cool as ever. No one is "bullying me" or looking down on me. Notifications don't scare me anymore. I have done the occasional f**k up or have said the wrong thing and with my current besties and people I surround myself with, they will put me in check in the sincerest way possible and hold me accountable not only for my words but for my own growth.
What is the formula for girlhood? I think that depends on the individual's wants and needs. After taking several com classes...Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs comes into play, self actualization, self-esteem and belonging. Personally I want to feel safe, loved, valued, comfortable etc.
Girlhood: I want to wear sweatpants and go to the farmer's market at 8am on a random Sunday, get bagels with me. I wanna watch movies and eat whatever. I don't care about seeing my friends naked. It doesn't phase me. My friends will literally scrub my back in the shower butt ass naked because I have sand from the beach on me, or paint. I want to jump in freezing cold Florida water also naked on a random weekday. I want to be able to cry in front of my friends just as much as I laugh. I want to go camping. I want to travel, I want to go out until 3am (maybe just three times a year maximum because I need sleep ha) I want to be hugged and embraced and cheered on. I want to do my hair once in awhile and put on lashes. I don't always want to wear makeup though. I want to play cards and make a bomb charcuterie. I want the group chat lit but I also want to disengage from it for a few days. I want to listen to live music. I wanna be in tune with what's trendy but I like what I like, too. I want to go to my friends art shows, performances, and celebrations. I want to go out to bingo and see what we get from the mystery vending machine. I want to go to the sunflower patch and sneak some NSFW pics. I want my friends to braid my hair. I want to sit on the couch and pet our dogs for hours while we talk about life and catch up. I want to go out to sushi. I want to take long walks, but slow because I walk slow. I want to be praised for my work ethic. I want to talk about the future even if it scares me. I want to talk about my family and what deodorant I use, or how I actually put on my lashes. I want to put on music while I sit on the floor of the bedroom to put my makeup on. I want to body double and sit on my friend's bed while they do laundry. I want to burn incense while we talk about deep shit. I want to read the text you're about to send and give my opinion. I want to hype you up. I want to be hyped up. It's not that serious but it's also serious.
So seriously...Girlhood...Girlhood is much like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, is a multifaceted journey that evolves with personal wants and needs. Just as Maslow identified stages from basic physiological requirements to self-actualization, the path through girlhood plays a part in layers of growth.
At the foundational level, girlhood begins with the fundamental need for safety and comfort. This includes physical safety in our environments, emotional security in our relationships, and a sense of comfort within ourselves. Feeling safe allows us to explore and thrive without fear, nurturing the growth of our identities. Reflecting on past friendships that have faded, I now question whether I ever felt truly safe. Today, I can confidently say that I feel safe. Maybe my head is clearer due to my sobriety or it's about my own evolving wants and needs, but most importantly safety is up there on my list within the girlhood spectrum.
Moving up Maslow's pyramid parallels the need for love and belonging in girlhood. We seek meaningful connections with others, forming friendships and bonds that validate our worth. To feel loved is to feel valued, accepted, and supported, creating a vital foundation for self-esteem and personal growth.
Girlhood is enriched by the development of self-esteem, where we recognize our capabilities and worth. This stage involves embracing our strengths, accepting our flaws, and cultivating a positive self-image. Through achievements, affirmations, and self-compassion, we build confidence and resilience, essential for navigating challenges and setbacks.(I have faced many a setback and many a challenge)
In my current circle of friends, regardless of our diverse financial situations, we consistently uplift and support each other. We are present. We celebrate achievements, hobbies, performances, and work promotions wholeheartedly, and we are also there for each other during the hardships we face.
In this phase of girlhood, I am embracing a sense of freedom from shame, receiving support from multiple friend groups where shame holds no power.
At the peak of Maslow's pyramid lies self-actualization—a concept that resonates deeply with the aspirations of girlhood. It involves the pursuit of personal fulfillment, realizing our potential, and achieving our dreams. This stage is characterized by creativity, self-discovery, and a sense of purpose, empowering us to shape our own paths and contribute meaningfully to the world around us.
Ultimately, the formula for girlhood is as unique as each individual's journey. It encompasses a blend of personal desires, experiences, and aspirations that evolve over time.
By honoring what makes me feel safe, loved, valued, and comfortable, I'm crafting a meaningful path that reflects who I am and who I want to become.
I think I can fire my therapist now. <3 just kidding.
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